Hi my name is Dianna & I’m a Cry Baby. I’ve been clean for the last 32 hours but today has been tough..
It’s been ‘one of those days’ for the past few months. Change has always scared me and I’ve been handed changes lately as much as they hand out condoms in your high school Sex-Ed class; which is a whole damn lot. I can sigh in relief and say that even in my sad moments I think I’m starting to find the silver lining, I’m not waiting for it anymore; I’m not waiting for the rainbow after the gray clouds. I’ve found a paintbrush in all of this mess and I’m painting the sky with the 64-color Crayola box. These changes have changed me and they didn’t quite teach me how to handle these things in school. I’m learning and understanding myself more and I like it. I like me and all that I’m making of myself in this school of life.
Let’s play truth or dare, like middle school days…
TRUTH: even though I can see a light flickering at the end of the tunnel, I still have days when holding back my tears is the number one task on my to do list. I cry because I feel, sometimes I think I feel too much. I feel everything; every breath, every touch, every unspoken word, every silent car ride, even the tone in your voice. I feel enough for you & me. I cry for other people’s pain, people I know and even people that I’ll never know their name. I even cry when I have nothing else left to say. I cry when Elsa saves Anna & during the scene of The Notebook when Noah tells Allie “I’m a bird if you’re a bird” every damn time, no matter how many times I’ve seen it.
DARE: I dare you to take a look back at the lemons life has thrown at you and tell me did you make a lemonade stand or did you let the bitterness of lemons taste get the best of you? ….If you’ve made a lemonade stand, thanks for being that inspiration to the next person. If you’ve thrown lemons back at life, let me be the one to tell you that every day is a new day and today might not seem like yours but you are more than capable & more than worth it. For those of you that are like me and you have the nails, wood and hammer to make the lemonade stand but some days it seems like we are reading the instructions backwards. That’s ok, keep building, we got this.